Back to the story. As you can imagine, after a quickie proposal we both went through a few weeks of WTF from friends and family, this was before it was popularly acronymed and people actually shouted it rather than texted it. But we both knew, we knew it was right. With us both at 29 years of age you have dated enough and done enough and know what you will and will not compromise on. What I really wouldn’t compromise on wasn’t put to the true test until 12 years later.
I think in relationships you have to come to grips with the fact that there simply is not ‘perfect’, you would be delusional if you thought that there was. So again back to the balance, what is key is that your core values and mutual respect are equal …beyond that you can have some leeway in how similar you are with your character traits. I am more of an upbeat extrovert, while he was more mellow and very, very smart. That was what was an instant attraction for me. Not to say that I am not smart, I was a straight A student and all that good stuff but where I would devour books, I think he only ever read one in its entirety in our 12 years together “Into Thin Air” (great book which I have also read and this will have relevance later)…but he could name the leaders and mountains and water systems of even the most obscure countries (great to have on your team for Trivial Pursuit).
So after the proposal I had 3 weeks back at home with my family and friends explaining and sharing while he was doing the same back in his country. He then flew out to meet my family because on the words of my parents..”there is no way in hell you are getting married until we meet this boy”.