In mid-November I was hosting my bookclub christmas do. Mort was in charge of getting Clare and Maddie bathed and to bed on time while I had my friends for dinner in the other room. At one stage I came into the kitchen to see my girls sitting by themselves in front of the tv unbathed and munching on a packet of chips. Where is your dad? The reply was asleep. It was 7.00 at night and I had a house full of people. I was beyond livid.
I checked in and sure enough there he was buried under the covers like a giant grotesque snoring tick. There are no words to describe my absolute disgust. I left him to sleep as I didn’t want to rattle that cage while my friends were in the house.
Instead I got the girls organized for bed and continued with my dinner party. When the guests left….I let rip. Good thing that we put in that air-conditioning because I was spewing face-melting magma all over the place.