Threats and dining tables

4 06 2015

Then came the dreaded call in the early hours of 13 June.  The moment I heard his voice I felt like hot concrete had been poured into my marrow.  I was rooted to the spot and I instantly broke into a cold sweat.  There wasn’t a trace of slurring, his voice was calm and measured with a sting.

He said that he had enjoyed some holiday time away and was back bearing ‘big guns’. The guns being inferred legal strength to start causing (yet more) havoc in my life.  I made it clear that I wasn’t going to be going for anything in terms of alimony etc. I wanted nothing from him (except my peace). It seemed to be fine to him that I wasn’t going to try to take anything from him, but he was sure going to try to take from me.

He started ranting about the dining table that we had purchased before the great unravelling and the air conditioning that we had installed. After a few minutes of this he then said, and the girls, I have rights. This was the first time through all this that he had made the slightest reference to the girls.

His priorities were interesting.

dining table





Chance encounter…almost

27 07 2012

I am in the process of trying to serve divorce papers.  A very tricky thing to do when you can not find the other party.  The law here is that you have to be separated for  a year before you are able to file for divorce.  I applied the very day that I was able.  From there you are assigned a court date usually about 2 months out.  You are then (the applicant) required to serve (the respondent) at least 28 days in advance of the court date.  I lost my first court date back in March as we were unable to find him to serve the papers.

I applied again and had a second court date earmarked for the 19th of July.  We know that he is around given the (thankfully now infrequent) random drunken voicemail messages, but never with an indication as to where exactly he is. The very day before the clock ticked out for my second attempt at 28 days of service requirement, I thought I saw him…

I was on my way to Clare’s sports carnival.  I was driving down a street in my neighborhood and saw a man walking from behind that I swore was Mort.  It was the height, the gait and disheveled appearance.  Now mind you I haven’t laid eyes on him in well over a year so the instantaneous physical reaction that my body had was bizarre.  It was a state of deep stress that he was in my neighbourhood, and yet exhilaration that the universe had looked after me in such a way as to deliver this random timely moment to know his whereabouts to enable the hired server to swoop in on him.

While my mind went into overdrive about who I call first; my lawyer or my rock of a dad, my body went into a weird state of shock and began to shake violently all over.  I had enough control to be able to pull round a corner and sit and wait until he walked past.  While I did this I was on the phone to my dad first for two seconds of panicked/excited “oh my god I think I have just driven past him”, and then a trail of expletives before I quickly called my lawyer and sat on the phone with them until the man in question walked past, lowered his hoodie and revealed himself to be someone else’s nightmare, not mine.